How many times did I hear those words in the first years after the twins died? Well meaning people, my parents in particular, didn’t want to see me in so much pain. I don’t blame them. But their words hurt. I knew I would never “move on” from the memory of my children, who I held inside of me and desperately loved and anticipated for six months. My attachment to them started far before that- my husband and I had been trying to conceive for four years, and I had had one miscarriage prior to conceiving the twins.
Ten years later my intense grief has subsided and my memories of them are now bittersweet. But moving on was never a possibility.