Eleven years ago today I found out my twin sons died at 24 weeks gestation. Two days later on September 5th I gave birth to them and saw them for the first and last time. Their short lives made an incredible impact on mine. I will be forever changed by them, and in many ways for the good.
If you’ve read some of my other posts you may know they suffered from Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, a disease of the placenta (please see http://www.tttsfoundation.org/ for more information). My husband and I received the diagnosis approximately four weeks prior to their death. We tried desperately to save our sons as I endured four amniocentesis taps within that four week period. The process was long and grueling. I worried constantly, but my husband never lost faith that our sons would be OK. Unfortunately, the outcome was not good.
I’ve learned a lot in the eleven years since their death. I honor the twin’s memory by writing this blog for others suffering the loss of a baby due to miscarriage (I had two), stillbirth and the death of a baby just after birth and share some of that information that I’ve learned with you. No one can truly understand the heartache of losing a baby unless they experience it themselves. My sons’ legacy for me will always be one of hope, comfort and understanding others that endure that same pain. I volunteer for the Hygeia Foundation in their memory as well. Reaching out to others has been tremendously healing and cathartic.
I truly appreciate that you have reached out to read my blog. It means you are taking the first (or the hundredth!) step toward your own healing. I can only hope my words bring you some sense of comfort and peace.
In memory of Andrew Ulrich and Joseph Mark…I will love you forever.