Soundwaves Perinatal Bereavement Support

Bereavement Support For Parents Grieving the Loss of a Baby During or Just After Pregnancy

Comfort and Peace January 10, 2009

Two things I think most of us strive for in our lives are comfort and peace. These two elements can be illusive in the best of times. When you lose a baby, they can be virtually impossible to attain for weeks, even months.

It’s cliche, but time did allow those life components to naturally, slowly creep back into my life after I lost the twins. After the initial  heart wrenching devastation, time gave way to small bits of normalcy each day/week/month that passed.

For me, talking about my sons to friends who would listen, over and over again, helped tremendously. Speaking their names and telling their story to someone who would listen validated them and all that I was going though, and helped me make it though those early days of grief.

Creating routines and memories that included my lost children in my daily life helped as well. I felt as if I was honoring them each time I did something to purposefully remember them. That in itself helped me to regain a sense of comfort and peace after the completely life altering experience of their death.

 

“Move On With Your Life” January 7, 2009

How many times did I hear those words in the first years after the twins died? Well meaning people, my parents in particular, didn’t want to see me in so much pain. I don’t blame them. But their words hurt. I knew I would never “move on” from the memory of my children, who I held inside of me and desperately loved and anticipated for six months. My attachment to them started far before that- my husband and I had been trying to conceive  for four years, and I had had one miscarriage prior to conceiving the twins. 

Ten years later my intense grief has subsided and my memories of them are now bittersweet. But moving on was never a possibility.

 

Hello world! December 31, 2008

Hello-
Welcome to my blog- Soundwaves. I am a housewife, mother and former elementary school teacher. I started this blog because I would like to reach out to people who have experienced the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth or death right after birth.  I suffered two miscarriages and gave birth to stillborn twin sons due to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome.  I now happily have two live sons ages 8 and 6.

I have been RTS trained as a bereavement support person. Although I am not a professional counselor, I  hope my posts will help women and families  who have suffered the loss of a baby find solice and perhaps a sense of hope for the future. 

Take Care-
Claudia